In the aftermath of the Malcolm/Nurys nipple madness, this week’s episode started with a shocking scene — Emoney and Alexis kissing. Who saw that one coming?

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Audrey was telling Nurys that the only reason Malcolm was with Diandra was to hurt her. Uhhh, ya think? Malcolm was, clearly, talking out of his ass when he said that he still had feelings for Nurys — even though they weren’t a Perfect Match — and how she will always be his “ride or die.” He was looking for an excuse to bolt on Nurys as soon as the opportunity presented itself (i.e. the nipple nonsense).

Alivia, who still has strong feelings for Kareem, realizes that Keith might actually be her match. “I asked for an Italian guy, with a great sense of sarcasm and does stupid shit…And if that isn’t Keith written down on paper, I don’t know.”LINGERIE PARTY

Apparently, alcohol does not do well in quenching Dimitri’s thirst. This man was sloppy with his words talking about how he “couldn’t not look at Geles” and telling Malcolm to not let him look at Diandra either because she was looking “so fine.” Well, Nicole overheard his drunken remarks and was, rightfully, upset. THEN, Dimitri doubled down with one of the most outrageous attempts to calm a girl down that I’ve ever seen:​

​Alivia and Keith are alone having a conversation in one of the bedrooms about how they needed to talk more as Kareem peeps on.Kareem, obviously jealous at this point, goes and makes out with Zoe. Probably not the best idea when you were just telling a different girl – Alivia – that you “could fall in love with her” a week ago. Zoe went and told just about everyone in the house that her and Kareem hooked up, except Alivia. I get it, kind of a shitty move, but Zoe isn’t the one in the wrong. She is just playing the game – maybe in her own unique way – but nonetheless, playing the game. Keyana, thinking that neither Zoe or Kareem would, told Alivia about what went down and Alivia reacted in the most iconic way possible.I am absolutely terrified of that thumbs up. That was the equivalent of your parents giving you the dreaded “I’m not mad, I’m just dissapointed” talk. Everyone should implement Alivia’s thumbs up move into my everyday life.

Boss: “I need you to work this entire weekend.”

Us:Your boss will think you’re OK with working this weekend by the thumbs up, and you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that your thumb is basically your middle finger. It’s genius.

Nicole told Kareem that Keyana was the one who told Alivia about him and Zoe making out, and he lost his shit. Kareem began yelling at Keyana when Tyler stepped in and asked, “Why are you blaming other people for your actions?” Fair point.

That’s when things got ugly. Kareem and Tyler began a shoving match which went down exactly how both thought it would — with security stepping in before either could really do anything. A couple of “hold me back” guys, possibly?

TRUTH BOOTH 

Going back to last week’s episode, the couples that won the challenge and went on the date were Emoney/Geles, Dimitri/Nicole, and Keith/Zoe. The house voted to send Dimitri and Nicole into the Truth Booth because, let’s face it, their options were slim.

The results….another No Match. Shocking.

MATCH UP CEREMONY

Girls pick this week.

Alexis picks Dimitri – Look, I know we only get the tv edited version of their time in the house, but this had to be strictly strategy. Have these two ever had a single conversation?

Diandra picks Kareem –

Zoe picks Joe – Because why not? I mean, just look at that beautiful head of hair.Uche picks Clinton – Water is wet. 

Audrey picks Shad – Michael is upset because for once in his life he didn’t get what he wanted. But let’s not bury the lead, SHAD DIDN’T GET PICKED LAST!

Jada picks Tyler – When are they going to let Jada pick before Uche? There’s only one guy she wants sitting next to her and he’s always off the board — Clinton.

Keyana picks Anthony – I think this one is so far from being a Perfect Match, that it’s probably a Perfect Match. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nicole picks Emoney – From this point on, I’ll be describing each pick in GIF form.

Geles picks Michael –

Nurys picks Keith –

Alivia picks Malcolm –

Just a WILD Match Up Ceremony. However, the girl’s strange strategy led to three beams, which was better than they guy’s one beam performance last week. So, kudos ladies.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Kareem seems to be MUCH better than Dimitri at getting out of trouble. He apologizes to Alivia for his actions earlier in the episode, and Alivia seems to accept his apology. As a member of #TeamKeith: