I can’t think of a better way to start season six of AYTO than to pretty much have a blooper reel from auditions of each cast member. Quality entertainment. 

Let’s recap.

Geles – One of my preseason. Did NOT disappoint. When talking about her most recent ex-boyfriend, she mentioned that he was now married…to a guy. When a producer asked if she had any idea that he might be gay, Geles replied “Well, his butthole was waxed.”

Clinton – A true “momma’s boy.” Talked about how he wanted to find a girl who was just like his mom. Made it clear that he was not a player and that his life didn’t revolve around sex. Seemed like a genuine, good dude.

Ethan – E-MONEY! The rapper from California. Or as Nelson put it, “We got Eminem in the house!” This guy is going to be a riot with plenty of laugh out loud, funny moments. Not the prototypical AYTO model looking guy, but he’ll be just fine. If Briana says he’ll get the baddest chick in the house, then he’ll get the baddest chick in the house.

Uche – Granted me permission to call her Uch (OO-ch). Comes from a good family with high morales. She seems to push her parents limits with the guys she dates, but never forgets how she was raised. Dated an athlete – football player – called it. Uch seems like the type of girl you can bring home to meet your parents AND the type of girl that will party for a week straight without coming home.

David aka Shad – This dude was exactly who I thought he was. A giant tool. 90% of his audition tape was spent talking about his perfect jawline. He’s arrogant, he’s an asshole, he’s ratings gold. Every season needs a Shad. He’ll stir the pot better than anyone in the house. I dislike him so much, that I actually like him.

Malcolm – Categorizes each girl he’s been with by the type of booty they have. He’s created some type of spreadsheet in his head for it. Seems like a click, drag, drop kind of process. Simple, but effective. Definitely a player. Has some pretty good handles – talking basketball, of course.

Nicole – Nicole, why are you single? “I’m a stage 11 clinger.” Direct quote from Nicole during her interview. I predicted that Nicole would be the one to cling to her confirmed no match this season. I don’t want to toot my own horn here, but…Jada – Another preseason favorite of mine. Like Geles, Jada didn’t disappoint. She dropped everyone’s jaw with, possibly, the quote of the night.​​Keith – “I’m a douchebag, but I’m your douchebag.” Keith may not be the down home, country boy I predicted, but one thing I did get right, he sure does love his country.Alexis – I was super relieved that she had a southern accent. From West Virginia, talked about how she knew cousins who made out with each other – or some kind of stereotypical WV shit like that – and about how there was nothing to do there. Shocking. She seems like “one of the guys” who’s always down for a good time. I expect good things from Alexis this season.

Anthony – Straight out of the movie Split. On one hand, he’s Anthony, the teacher. On the other, he’s Tony, the wild card. It will be interesting to see which personality alphas the other and dominates this season.

Keyana – Oh, Keyana. I hate doing this, but I admit, I was wrong about you. As much as I didn’t want you to be, you’re a sweetheart. At least I’ll always have the little nugget of information about you driving four hours for some strange to hold over your head. Wild move.

Nurys – Got a little emotional during the interview. Broke down and started to cry when talking about guys who have broken her heart. Assholes. Nurys did leave the ladies with a quality piece of advice:

Diandra – Called this one from the jump. She has a look that would make any man submit to anything.​​​Kareem – Seems like a hothead. Says he’s from a dysfunctional family and reminds himself of his dad when he’s in a relationship. Angry, frustrated, I got Kareem ALL wrong in my first impression of him. He’s not quiet or reserved. Will probably have multiple meltdowns this season. Should be entertaining.

Zoe – I don’t have to do any explaining when it comes to Zoe. This tweet sums her audition up perfectly.

Tyler – Nice guy. Often “friend zoned.” Piano player, which could play well with some girls. Falls fast. Will probably fall in love with a confirmed no match, she’ll move on after the Truth Booth, but he won’t.

Audrey – “I don’t think I’m crazy.” If you have to clarify that from the jump, you might be crazy. A doormat in the relationship. Used to be “chubby” (her words, not mine). Probably goes to her old high school’s football games just to flaunt her new body to all the assholes that picked on her, and why not?

Michael – Artsy. Reads poetry, loves painting. Michael is a big teddy bear. Looks intimidating on the outside, but deep down, just wants to be loved. We’ll probably see Michael cry a lot this season. 

Alivia – The life of the party, this one is. Was once called “immature” by one of her professors and replied, “you’re immature.” Will flirt with EVERY hot guy in the room. Wants to kiss every guy and determine her perfect match by who was the best kisser. Alivia should be fun.

Dimitri – I’ll just come out and say it, I have a BIG time man crush on Dimitri. Just a good looking dude. Very mature, almost too mature to be on this show. Studied Sports Medicine, loves working out, and confessed to producers that he has no game. When you look like that, no game is needed. All he has to do is walk through the door.

Joe – Late bloomer when it comes to dating, but that’s ok. With the best hair in the house, and a license to sell marijuana, every girl in the house will want a piece of Joe.

This casting special left is wanting so much more! Find out what happens next Wednesday at 10/9c as season six of AYTO officially kicks off.